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11​.​11

by Hedge Fund

supported by
tiddymeats
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tiddymeats love this band from way back, trying to convince them to play in the bay area. that was almost a decade ago and I had to come buy the digital again. if the tape shows up I'll be pleasantly surprised since I lost my old one
/
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    Black Type II audio cassette. Art by Zemetres. 2 runs of 50. 2nd run features the inner image in red.

    Includes unlimited streaming of 11.11 via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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1.
Locutus 00:52
flesh made machine, self stripped away, all individuality erased. voices inside from the hive mind command you to assimilate your own kind. not a shred of personhood left inside your soul. a slave to the collective, just a mindless drone. resistance is futile
2.
Weltschmerz 01:46
nails drag across my flesh. lungs collapse. gasp for breath. my body doesn't feel like my own--and my mind. every day's a fight just to maintain control. i don't know who i am anymore, don't know who i want to be, but i don't want to feel like a monster, or like a stranger to everybody close to me. i hang by a thread, hoping that maybe someday i'll feel like a human being, but i don't think i'll ever get there. no i'll never get there. i beat myself bloody, trying not to take my anger out on you, but it's not really me that i hate. it's this fucked up world we've been born into. just stay the hell away from me and leave me alone. i'll never find anyplace where i'll feel at home, and i can't bear to face this world all on my own. i wish with every ounce of my that i'd never been fucking born.
3.
you're not hard enough. you're not tough enough. you're not pure enough. you're too well off. you're too normative. you're too simplistic. you're too complacent. you're not a real punk. maybe i didn't grow up in the gutter. still i know that society's ugly. never beaten as a kid, rarely harassed by my peers. doesn't mean that i don't have something to scream about. i know this world is fucked, just like the rest of us. we don't wear the same uniform but we're the same army,but if you want to get hung up on exclusionary junk, then judge us all you want because we don't give a fuck.
4.
Diana Ross 04:11
isolation, lost in my own mind, a prisoner, stuck in my head all the time, and i just want to let it out but every fucking time i do it makes everything worse, and now i don't know what to do, i've pushed away everyone who i care for. i've crawled so far inside myself and now i'm trapped inside this hell, and i just want to be set free but there's darkness inside of me. i can't let it show. i'm always so ready to give in to hate and i write people off for making stupid mistakes. more than anything i wish i could just let this go. i don't want to be weighed down anymore but i can't escape my racing thoughts and every time i feel my blood boil in my veins. i'm so tired of this fucking rage and moral superiority is so fucking lonely, and deep down i know the truth: i'm the same scum as everyone who sickens me. i guess i'm just another angry kid, hopeless and with no faith left in humanity hardening my heart's the only way i know how to survive, but what's the point if i just feel dead all the time?

about

death is irrelevant

credits

released November 11, 2011

recorded by mark vm & hedge fund at quad sound studio
mixed by mark vm & hedge fund at the p.irateship

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Hedge Fund Somerville, Massachusetts

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